such an urge to blog~
bought sandy lam's album today and it's such a good investment!
was never an ardent fan of hers,
but even 8 days gave her alumb a 5 star review.

林亿莲 - 至少还有你
曲 : Davy Chan 词 : 林 夕

我怕来不及 我要抱着你
直到感觉你的皱纹 有了岁月的痕迹
直到肯定你是真的 直到失去力气
为了你 我愿意
动也不能动 也要看着你
直到感觉你的发线 有了白雪的痕迹
直到视线变得模糊 直到不能呼吸
让我们 形影不离
如果 全世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你 值得我去珍惜
而你在这里 就是生命的奇迹
也许 全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意 失去你的消息
你掌心的痣 我总记得在那里
我怕来不及 我要抱着你
直到感觉你的发线 有了白雪的痕迹
直到视线变得模糊 直到不能呼吸
让我们 形影不离
如果 全世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你 值得我去珍惜
而你在这里 就是生命的奇迹
也许 全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意 失去你的消息
你掌心的痣 我总记得在那里
我们好不容易 我们身不由已
我怕时间太快 不够将你看仔细
我怕时间太慢 日夜担心失去你
恨不得一夜之间白头 永不分离
如果 全世界我也可以放弃
至少还有你 值得我去珍惜
而你在这里 就是生命的奇迹
也许 全世界我也可以忘记
就是不愿意 失去你的消息
你掌心的痣 我总记得在那里
在那里

this is the first song of hers which i was introduced to when i was in sec 1.
and it still is the one of the best ballad i've heard so far.
lovely lyrics, touching tunes.

i had such a therapatic time with aly and cher.
so much of a girls' talk
emotional connection.
kindda detached
from the many little insecurities i've always held on to too tightly.
at least for today
i did.

chatted and chatted and aly's got such an interesting life!
lolx... i am still totally amused by her
waking up her dad in the middle of the night
cos she's put on her mum's cartier ring and could not get it off her fingers.
her dad has to resort to sawing the ring!
it didn't turn out half as funny here as when we were talking abt it just now.
so hilarious i laughed til my stomach ached!

we talked abt all the
nitty gritty(S)
rosy thorny(s)

too many reflections.
sometimes we just dun realise that words we say during our heated moments DO hurt
and once said, there's no way we can retrieve it back. ever.
like...
i still feel guilty abt a blog entry which i couldn't quite forgive myself for blurting insensitive stuff abt a friend.
like...
i didn't noe i did hurt cher so much to the extent she cried when i say
"sometimes things should be kept unsaid, even to best friends"
of cos she didn't cry merely because of these words but because of the given context.

and i've no idea how i got myself into thinking that i'm the only moroon on earth who has bad mood swings.
who feel lonely during exam periods.
we sometimes yearn to talk but am too afraid no one would want to listen.
and like what cher say abt being lonely is not quite the same as being alone.
yar, i mean, i have my parents and sis with me at home everyday
but i can still feel depressed and down with them around.
it's not so much abt the crowd as it is abt the company.
and cher so aptly describe loneliness as being stranded in the ocean feeling thirsty.
it's ironic how u can have all the water surrounding u but u cant drink them!

it's just amazing how girls always read too deeply into things
and get ourselves all worked up,
onli to realise when we revisit our memories some time later,
that it was never the speakers'/doer's intention.
that we've misinterpreted.
that we've cared too much
that we've unknowingly hurt ourselves.
i remembered when i was in sec sch
how i was so eager to outperform every other students
to be llb's best students
how it really mattered so much to me because she's been this teacher i've practically worshipped.
i cried because she merely commented in a casual conversation
abt another student having high calibre.
and when i recount such incidences,
i thought that was so silly of me!
hahaha....

there are people i really treasure
yet never quite expressed how much i do love them
and how thankful i am having them by my side.
perhaps people's impression of me is someone over-ly study oriented.
slave of the education system, dull, mundane person ba.
the negetive side of me is that
i've never really learnt to reciprocate,
never learnt to give love
to be sensitve towards others
instead of being only consious abt my own needs.
maybe in these areas, i haven't grown.

i am
i am so touched be cher.
how she helped me braved thru so many storms
and probably wouldn't have been in the shape i am now ba.
of cos there're others ard who mattered alot too
there are just so many to be named.
pei.
mok.
mum.
joanne.
cell.
aly.
when i cried myself to sleep.
when i just need to feed on others' love.
when i thought why cant i just end it here and marry off and be a housewife so i wouldn't have to take exams to pass properly to enter Uni and onli to find me subjecting myself again to the ceaseless rat race.

thanks cher.
for always being there when i am the most vunerable.(which is not now)
because i do have the urge to make myself scream
"life couldn't get better!" haha... but it could have been better without exams.
i was so touched because sometimes i felt that i haven't been such a sacrificial or wonderful fren you've perceived as, or i could have been.
but u still loved we all the same.
and i am just so touched,
when i was at one of the downest points in my life,
it's u and perhaps onli ur chest i can so safely tuck my tear soaked face into
without feeling afraid that u'd mind me displaying my weakness.
and u perhaps onli u i could feel i am all so important again.
it's u and it's onli u
who've ever said so sincerely
"do u know that my heart broke when i saw u cry?"
and that was when the person who made me cry faded into black and white. :)

i've really enjoyed aly's and ur company.
and now i am not so concerned if i get CDEF or Z for my papers.
there are just too many other stuff worth cherishing. :)