haha...
this to reply zhanting's tag lah.
yeah.
actually. i think i wun delete that post probably.
not because i want to offend more people.
but that was a post that meant alot to me.
including being angry at a good fren.
being touched by my grpmates.
being proud of my own accomplishments of getting so many props within a week.
being glad i've forged such a strong friendship even in the misdst of all the busy-ness.
so that post meant alot.
and u noe, i noe. wenjie noes.
everything's said while we're all faring. in rage.
but all those said only counts at the moment.
and i noe this post haven spoiled our friendships
our friendship will only come outta luyuan becoming stronger.
and tougher.
yup. i nv said she's not a good leader.
cos deep in everyone's heart we noe she's fantestic.
and no one can take her place.
pls. that post. i wun say i dun mean it to say those things.
i meant everything i typed at that moments.
especially those wonderful things.
which are so dear to my heart.
thus i tot i wun delete or try to alter it.
understand that this is a difficult period for everyone.
and nv trying to deny the fact that my grp and i may be operating at an inefficient rate.
haiz...
hee... dun noe how to continue...
just abit heavy hearted.
原来words really do hurt alot.
especially what is said at rage.
and lim zhanting.
u noe me and my character is very straightforward and sometimes say things unprocessed by the brain.
so mok is not taking it personally. (hopefully)
i am not taking it personally.
hope u are not too.
everyone's just very very drained.
haha... yah. let's just return to our usual moronic spastic self where we could have loads of fun laughing and joking just like we did on sat aft tech run. :)
yah. i love u and wenjie all the same k!!!! :)
Monday, April 24, 2006
Saturday, April 22, 2006
LUYUAN PH7.0
ticket price: 8 bucks, free seating
venue: TJC aduitorium
Time: 7th 3pm ( Sunday )
8th of May 730pm ( Monday )
我是绿园的园丁之一！
been going thru emotional tumoils for the past week.
lots scoldings
lots of whining
lots of crying.
i'm still in it.
still doing it.
still holding on.
because we're holding onto each other.
at least i'm not angry at mok liao.
haha...
cant guarantee the next time i get pissed again.
i have alot of attitude problems.
and i can never try to put up a strong front in front of other people.
i cry as and when i want.
laugh as and when i want.
whine as and when i want.
because i am me.
felt very bad to zhenbin.
haiz.
i dunno how to connect with people lah. really.
even if my group got an A1 for PW.
i can am certain that it's a working relationship. there's not chemistry.
perhaps within themselves there is.
cos they seems to always have common topics.
i have to
quit crying
quit being so insensitive
and quit being oversensitive.
ticket price: 8 bucks, free seating
venue: TJC aduitorium
Time: 7th 3pm ( Sunday )
8th of May 730pm ( Monday )
我是绿园的园丁之一！
been going thru emotional tumoils for the past week.
lots scoldings
lots of whining
lots of crying.
i'm still in it.
still doing it.
still holding on.
because we're holding onto each other.
at least i'm not angry at mok liao.
haha...
cant guarantee the next time i get pissed again.
i have alot of attitude problems.
and i can never try to put up a strong front in front of other people.
i cry as and when i want.
laugh as and when i want.
whine as and when i want.
because i am me.
felt very bad to zhenbin.
haiz.
i dunno how to connect with people lah. really.
even if my group got an A1 for PW.
i can am certain that it's a working relationship. there's not chemistry.
perhaps within themselves there is.
cos they seems to always have common topics.
i have to
quit crying
quit being so insensitive
and quit being oversensitive.
WHAT A CRYBABY!
luyuan is turning everyone into freaking moroon. including myself.
i know this is no time to take scoldings personally.
but i am hurt.
at how things are handled and how they turn out.
i am abit sad and very angry during the taxi ride.
and yes, cried on the taxi while whining and complaining to zhanting.
what the F***. the stupid props group. as in not those moving props.
but those who are supposed to be looking for props.
argg... and now almost 80% of the props in my story are either from my house.
or i went to buy it myself.
or i made it myself(other than the fork and knife)
or i borrowed it myself.
not that i didn't tell them what i want.
not that i didn't tell them how to do it.
not that i didn't tell them where to borrow it.
it's just.
NEXT YEAR PLEASE DUN FIND SOMEONE WHO HAS TOTALLY NO EXPERIENCE IN DRAMA AND CANT LEAD IN THE PROPS GROUP.
cos it's the most crucial group with the most things to do.
and i am not from the props group.
but.
i went to buy:
the wardrobe
a can opener
a can of sardine
20 packets of cotton for the burger wchich amounts to $60
i went to borrow:
the clothes racks
thae baby doll
the telephone
the manaquin
the gown
a wooden flower
i made myself:
the burger
with mama helping me do the sewing
i brought from home:
7 shirts
a cup
a first aid box
rags
mop (even this they cant get for me and say wanna borrow from general office!)
a shaver
3-4 empty bottles.
LOOK WHO'S IN PROPS GROUP!
ARGG... angry!
and i am very sensitive PLEASE.
i am totally hurt by what wenjie said.
TWICE
i meant i'm hurt twice
and i feel very yuan1 wang4.
firstly. NOBODY TELLS ME IT'S ONLY MY GRP TECH RUNNING TODAY
secondly, nobody tells me we're not second shift as pressumed earlier.
thirdly, nobody let me noe what to and what not to do during the tech run.
and mok just said plainly:
"ur grp has bad time management"
"u wasted alot of time"(as i wasn't prepared properly, which is partly my fault. and also because i dunno we're taking the whole slot)
"u have ur share of 2 plus hours"
"and this is ur last tech run. there wun be anymore tech run for ur grp"
what the F***
like PLEASE.
i noe there's no more time slot.
but there's still so many things to change for my play.
and 2 scenes didn't even get the tech run.
so i replied in a cynical manner
even giving a laugh
"OKOK. dunnid to be so stern"
cos i hate IT
THEY ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL VERY STRESS.
PACKING AL THE REHEARSALS AND TECH RUN SO TIGHTLY I CANT EVEN PAIXI WITH MY MEMBERS TO WORK ON THE FEED BACK.
this is the second time wj hurt me.
i noe you are just doing ur job.
but i am hurt.
whatever.
if we're not going to get another tech run.
FINE.
i noe our play is not so good afterall
and we dun need an idiot play to eat up other grp's time.
plus it's the longest play out of the three. dun we desere more time.?
today i only have 2 things to be happie abt.
zhenyi was pissed because he was on time but have to listen to all the scoldings
yuyang was on time but got grounded or sth by taekwadoo, still she rushed here on time.
and then what happened?
the whole stupid thing didn't start until 7.
and zhenyi said he almost wanted to say he want to quit.
but he stayed and told me he's staying because of me: "因为我知道你是个好人"
ok... there goes. i am tearing as i am typing now...
and cherlynn told me also that cuishan said to her that she wants to try to act properly so that i wun get disappointed
and that she dun want to anyhow act and see me breakdown aft everything then regret.
thank you.
u peeps dunno that u all really mean alot to me.
even though i scolded everyone like mad during paixi.
and sometimes i just wished we could hug together aft all the tiredness drains our spirit awyay.
how i wished i could have been closer to everyone of you and how i wished everyone of us could be so close we love each other's presence every moment.
but sometimes it's just so hard to find time to bond.
when everyone's timetable cannot allow us to be all together at the same time.
i love u peeps
really...
i mean every L.O.V.E that i've typed.
and cher, thanks.
i love u!
i'm sorry i've turned into such a workerholic for luyuan(to just getting alot of hurtings) and neglected our frenship.
thanks for trusting me enough to share ur burden with me and letting me share mine with you.
thanks for staying up with me to discuss the props settings.
thanks for giving me so many ideas and encouragements when i feel so stuck.
thanks for sticking thru thick and thin with me and listening to me whine.
thanks for shoping for cinderella's clothes with me.
i just cant thank u enough.
i noe we'll al pull through together
and put up a great show.
because i noe somehow,
that everyone cares.
and yes. it touches me.
because i noe that we're doing all this for luyuan.
and some of u are doing it.
maybe for me.
this is my most meaningful drama production
in my participation in drama productions for the past 6 years...
i love u peeps. :)
i may not be someone whom u guys could connect deeply with
or identify with.
but i love u peeps.
i hope u guys feel the same way too. :)
luyuan is turning everyone into freaking moroon. including myself.
i know this is no time to take scoldings personally.
but i am hurt.
at how things are handled and how they turn out.
i am abit sad and very angry during the taxi ride.
and yes, cried on the taxi while whining and complaining to zhanting.
what the F***. the stupid props group. as in not those moving props.
but those who are supposed to be looking for props.
argg... and now almost 80% of the props in my story are either from my house.
or i went to buy it myself.
or i made it myself(other than the fork and knife)
or i borrowed it myself.
not that i didn't tell them what i want.
not that i didn't tell them how to do it.
not that i didn't tell them where to borrow it.
it's just.
NEXT YEAR PLEASE DUN FIND SOMEONE WHO HAS TOTALLY NO EXPERIENCE IN DRAMA AND CANT LEAD IN THE PROPS GROUP.
cos it's the most crucial group with the most things to do.
and i am not from the props group.
but.
i went to buy:
the wardrobe
a can opener
a can of sardine
20 packets of cotton for the burger wchich amounts to $60
i went to borrow:
the clothes racks
thae baby doll
the telephone
the manaquin
the gown
a wooden flower
i made myself:
the burger
with mama helping me do the sewing
i brought from home:
7 shirts
a cup
a first aid box
rags
mop (even this they cant get for me and say wanna borrow from general office!)
a shaver
3-4 empty bottles.
LOOK WHO'S IN PROPS GROUP!
ARGG... angry!
and i am very sensitive PLEASE.
i am totally hurt by what wenjie said.
TWICE
i meant i'm hurt twice
and i feel very yuan1 wang4.
firstly. NOBODY TELLS ME IT'S ONLY MY GRP TECH RUNNING TODAY
secondly, nobody tells me we're not second shift as pressumed earlier.
thirdly, nobody let me noe what to and what not to do during the tech run.
and mok just said plainly:
"ur grp has bad time management"
"u wasted alot of time"(as i wasn't prepared properly, which is partly my fault. and also because i dunno we're taking the whole slot)
"u have ur share of 2 plus hours"
"and this is ur last tech run. there wun be anymore tech run for ur grp"
what the F***
like PLEASE.
i noe there's no more time slot.
but there's still so many things to change for my play.
and 2 scenes didn't even get the tech run.
so i replied in a cynical manner
even giving a laugh
"OKOK. dunnid to be so stern"
cos i hate IT
THEY ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL VERY STRESS.
PACKING AL THE REHEARSALS AND TECH RUN SO TIGHTLY I CANT EVEN PAIXI WITH MY MEMBERS TO WORK ON THE FEED BACK.
this is the second time wj hurt me.
i noe you are just doing ur job.
but i am hurt.
whatever.
if we're not going to get another tech run.
FINE.
i noe our play is not so good afterall
and we dun need an idiot play to eat up other grp's time.
plus it's the longest play out of the three. dun we desere more time.?
today i only have 2 things to be happie abt.
zhenyi was pissed because he was on time but have to listen to all the scoldings
yuyang was on time but got grounded or sth by taekwadoo, still she rushed here on time.
and then what happened?
the whole stupid thing didn't start until 7.
and zhenyi said he almost wanted to say he want to quit.
but he stayed and told me he's staying because of me: "因为我知道你是个好人"
ok... there goes. i am tearing as i am typing now...
and cherlynn told me also that cuishan said to her that she wants to try to act properly so that i wun get disappointed
and that she dun want to anyhow act and see me breakdown aft everything then regret.
thank you.
u peeps dunno that u all really mean alot to me.
even though i scolded everyone like mad during paixi.
and sometimes i just wished we could hug together aft all the tiredness drains our spirit awyay.
how i wished i could have been closer to everyone of you and how i wished everyone of us could be so close we love each other's presence every moment.
but sometimes it's just so hard to find time to bond.
when everyone's timetable cannot allow us to be all together at the same time.
i love u peeps
really...
i mean every L.O.V.E that i've typed.
and cher, thanks.
i love u!
i'm sorry i've turned into such a workerholic for luyuan(to just getting alot of hurtings) and neglected our frenship.
thanks for trusting me enough to share ur burden with me and letting me share mine with you.
thanks for staying up with me to discuss the props settings.
thanks for giving me so many ideas and encouragements when i feel so stuck.
thanks for sticking thru thick and thin with me and listening to me whine.
thanks for shoping for cinderella's clothes with me.
i just cant thank u enough.
i noe we'll al pull through together
and put up a great show.
because i noe somehow,
that everyone cares.
and yes. it touches me.
because i noe that we're doing all this for luyuan.
and some of u are doing it.
maybe for me.
this is my most meaningful drama production
in my participation in drama productions for the past 6 years...
i love u peeps. :)
i may not be someone whom u guys could connect deeply with
or identify with.
but i love u peeps.
i hope u guys feel the same way too. :)
Monday, April 17, 2006
sOOoOoO many many many things happened and i haven had time to update!!
happy things first
whew! A1 for PW.
i tot we wun make it.
and the presentation wasn't all that fabulous
but considering all the sleepless nights
and days
and lessons
our grp deserved it!
and thanks to veera.
i tot he meant we didn't do well when i crapped during his GP and he say we shall see abt it when we get the PW results.
veera rocks!!
lolx..
he rocks even if i didn't get band 1.
ok...
now the unhappy things
ok.
stop here
and stop broading abt the unhappy things..
haiz...
happy things first
whew! A1 for PW.
i tot we wun make it.
and the presentation wasn't all that fabulous
but considering all the sleepless nights
and days
and lessons
our grp deserved it!
and thanks to veera.
i tot he meant we didn't do well when i crapped during his GP and he say we shall see abt it when we get the PW results.
veera rocks!!
lolx..
he rocks even if i didn't get band 1.
ok...
now the unhappy things
ok.
stop here
and stop broading abt the unhappy things..
haiz...
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
I CANT BELIEVE I CRIED.AGAIN.
ARGGG....
when will this crying bug stop irritating me?!
i have such a bad mood swing.
not mood swing exactly.
it's all because of the evil year ones!
not all though..
and the evil IPs TA PRCs whose eyeballs can nv turn away from their idiot laptop for 1 sec to listen to instrustions.
arrgggg....
ok... end my swing here.
LU YUAN TICKETS OUT FOR SALES.
PLEASE GRAB ONE ASAP!
may 5th(fri) or may 6th(sat) :)
ARGGG....
when will this crying bug stop irritating me?!
i have such a bad mood swing.
not mood swing exactly.
it's all because of the evil year ones!
not all though..
and the evil IPs TA PRCs whose eyeballs can nv turn away from their idiot laptop for 1 sec to listen to instrustions.
arrgggg....
ok... end my swing here.
LU YUAN TICKETS OUT FOR SALES.
PLEASE GRAB ONE ASAP!
may 5th(fri) or may 6th(sat) :)
Saturday, April 08, 2006
thanks everyone! for assuring me that we are going though this together.
actually every paixi is a very enjoyable process for me.
but everytime homework and tests snap me back to the cruel reality, it becomes a burden.
i think i've cried all my tears so far this year in the past one week.
probably freaked many out.
haha... so sorry k.
i mean...
yah, and dun worry becos this is pretty normal,
considering that i'm a worse crybaby in my secondary sch days.
for stupid things like...
nobody does their desinated duty(for i am the cleanliness coordinator)
and i even throw chairs, bags blah blah to vent my anger.
and also things like scoring 70 for my chinese essays consistantly without any improvement.
cried and cried for that.
hahaha...
so the next time u see me tear.
just ignore me k.
so today qingliang came.
loads of new concepts and new inspiration.
emotional comfort zone...
yexian feels uncomfortable when i place my hand on his shoulder
because i've crossed his emotional comfort zone.
come to think of it...
isn't it the case for daryl and cuishan too?
we're so protective of our emotional comfort zone
when someone invades
we get defensive
sometimes even offensive.
like, when someone's presence make u uncomfortable(be it because u like him or hate him)
u would do something else to avoid any form of contact with that person.
woah...
i shall work harder on the play
and school work as well...
actually every paixi is a very enjoyable process for me.
but everytime homework and tests snap me back to the cruel reality, it becomes a burden.
i think i've cried all my tears so far this year in the past one week.
probably freaked many out.
haha... so sorry k.
i mean...
yah, and dun worry becos this is pretty normal,
considering that i'm a worse crybaby in my secondary sch days.
for stupid things like...
nobody does their desinated duty(for i am the cleanliness coordinator)
and i even throw chairs, bags blah blah to vent my anger.
and also things like scoring 70 for my chinese essays consistantly without any improvement.
cried and cried for that.
hahaha...
so the next time u see me tear.
just ignore me k.
so today qingliang came.
loads of new concepts and new inspiration.
emotional comfort zone...
yexian feels uncomfortable when i place my hand on his shoulder
because i've crossed his emotional comfort zone.
come to think of it...
isn't it the case for daryl and cuishan too?
we're so protective of our emotional comfort zone
when someone invades
we get defensive
sometimes even offensive.
like, when someone's presence make u uncomfortable(be it because u like him or hate him)
u would do something else to avoid any form of contact with that person.
woah...
i shall work harder on the play
and school work as well...
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
time's running out!
everyone's timetable clash like mad.
well.. and in the end yuyang didn't join ccc
haiz...
but what touched me was that cuishan did.
sometimes can feel discouraged by what they say.
things like... i shouldn't have joined luyuan
ccc is so boring
i regreted
blah blah blah
but sometimes also can be touched by what they say
things like... dun worry, i'll definitely stay until luyuan is over.
i've put ccc into one of my choices.
or when they laughed wit me.
today was a little pissed off
cos everyone so not serious.
shiyun: so can we start now?
daryl: no.
shiyun: pls?
daryl: canot get the feeling means cannot.pls what pls.
and i was angry cos if everyone is tired, i'm too.
so i tore my hair in frustration. and felt like crying.
and so i told myself that no matter what, i must cry to wake them up
lol...
and so i did
and so they were shocked.
and so paixi went on alot more smoothly after that.
and everyone got very hyper.
but i cant cry again
if not they'd think i'm a cry baby
which i dun deny i am.
i look prettier than the mono spot.
lol...
and mok makes my day.
everyone's timetable clash like mad.
well.. and in the end yuyang didn't join ccc
haiz...
but what touched me was that cuishan did.
sometimes can feel discouraged by what they say.
things like... i shouldn't have joined luyuan
ccc is so boring
i regreted
blah blah blah
but sometimes also can be touched by what they say
things like... dun worry, i'll definitely stay until luyuan is over.
i've put ccc into one of my choices.
or when they laughed wit me.
today was a little pissed off
cos everyone so not serious.
shiyun: so can we start now?
daryl: no.
shiyun: pls?
daryl: canot get the feeling means cannot.pls what pls.
and i was angry cos if everyone is tired, i'm too.
so i tore my hair in frustration. and felt like crying.
and so i told myself that no matter what, i must cry to wake them up
lol...
and so i did
and so they were shocked.
and so paixi went on alot more smoothly after that.
and everyone got very hyper.
but i cant cry again
if not they'd think i'm a cry baby
which i dun deny i am.
i look prettier than the mono spot.
lol...
and mok makes my day.
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