WHAT A CRYBABY!
luyuan is turning everyone into freaking moroon. including myself.
i know this is no time to take scoldings personally.
but i am hurt.
at how things are handled and how they turn out.
i am abit sad and very angry during the taxi ride.
and yes, cried on the taxi while whining and complaining to zhanting.
what the F***. the stupid props group. as in not those moving props.
but those who are supposed to be looking for props.
argg... and now almost 80% of the props in my story are either from my house.
or i went to buy it myself.
or i made it myself(other than the fork and knife)
or i borrowed it myself.
not that i didn't tell them what i want.
not that i didn't tell them how to do it.
not that i didn't tell them where to borrow it.
it's just.
NEXT YEAR PLEASE DUN FIND SOMEONE WHO HAS TOTALLY NO EXPERIENCE IN DRAMA AND CANT LEAD IN THE PROPS GROUP.
cos it's the most crucial group with the most things to do.
and i am not from the props group.
but.
i went to buy:
the wardrobe
a can opener
a can of sardine
20 packets of cotton for the burger wchich amounts to $60

i went to borrow:
the clothes racks
thae baby doll
the telephone
the manaquin
the gown
a wooden flower

i made myself:
the burger
with mama helping me do the sewing

i brought from home:
7 shirts
a cup
a first aid box
rags
mop (even this they cant get for me and say wanna borrow from general office!)
a shaver
3-4 empty bottles.

LOOK WHO'S IN PROPS GROUP!
ARGG... angry!

and i am very sensitive PLEASE.
i am totally hurt by what wenjie said.
TWICE
i meant i'm hurt twice
and i feel very yuan1 wang4.

firstly. NOBODY TELLS ME IT'S ONLY MY GRP TECH RUNNING TODAY
secondly, nobody tells me we're not second shift as pressumed earlier.
thirdly, nobody let me noe what to and what not to do during the tech run.
and mok just said plainly:
"ur grp has bad time management"
"u wasted alot of time"(as i wasn't prepared properly, which is partly my fault. and also because i dunno we're taking the whole slot)
"u have ur share of 2 plus hours"
"and this is ur last tech run. there wun be anymore tech run for ur grp"
what the F***
like PLEASE.
i noe there's no more time slot.
but there's still so many things to change for my play.
and 2 scenes didn't even get the tech run.
so i replied in a cynical manner
even giving a laugh
"OKOK. dunnid to be so stern"
cos i hate IT
THEY ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL VERY STRESS.
PACKING AL THE REHEARSALS AND TECH RUN SO TIGHTLY I CANT EVEN PAIXI WITH MY MEMBERS TO WORK ON THE FEED BACK.
this is the second time wj hurt me.
i noe you are just doing ur job.
but i am hurt.
whatever.
if we're not going to get another tech run.
FINE.
i noe our play is not so good afterall
and we dun need an idiot play to eat up other grp's time.
plus it's the longest play out of the three. dun we desere more time.?

today i only have 2 things to be happie abt.
zhenyi was pissed because he was on time but have to listen to all the scoldings
yuyang was on time but got grounded or sth by taekwadoo, still she rushed here on time.
and then what happened?
the whole stupid thing didn't start until 7.
and zhenyi said he almost wanted to say he want to quit.
but he stayed and told me he's staying because of me: "因为我知道你是个好人"
ok... there goes. i am tearing as i am typing now...
and cherlynn told me also that cuishan said to her that she wants to try to act properly so that i wun get disappointed
and that she dun want to anyhow act and see me breakdown aft everything then regret.
thank you.
u peeps dunno that u all really mean alot to me.
even though i scolded everyone like mad during paixi.
and sometimes i just wished we could hug together aft all the tiredness drains our spirit awyay.
how i wished i could have been closer to everyone of you and how i wished everyone of us could be so close we love each other's presence every moment.
but sometimes it's just so hard to find time to bond.
when everyone's timetable cannot allow us to be all together at the same time.
i love u peeps
really...
i mean every L.O.V.E that i've typed.

and cher, thanks.
i love u!
i'm sorry i've turned into such a workerholic for luyuan(to just getting alot of hurtings) and neglected our frenship.
thanks for trusting me enough to share ur burden with me and letting me share mine with you.
thanks for staying up with me to discuss the props settings.
thanks for giving me so many ideas and encouragements when i feel so stuck.
thanks for sticking thru thick and thin with me and listening to me whine.
thanks for shoping for cinderella's clothes with me.
i just cant thank u enough.

i noe we'll al pull through together
and put up a great show.
because i noe somehow,
that everyone cares.
and yes. it touches me.
because i noe that we're doing all this for luyuan.
and some of u are doing it.
maybe for me.
this is my most meaningful drama production
in my participation in drama productions for the past 6 years...

i love u peeps. :)
i may not be someone whom u guys could connect deeply with
or identify with.
but i love u peeps.
i hope u guys feel the same way too. :)