Your mind is never at rest.You are continually striving to influence all those about you. You have some excellent ideas but you persist in trying to persuade others just how great your ideas really are. Maybe you are trying too hard. Take it easy - remember, 'Everything comes to those who wait'.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

Got this test from chaokiat's blog, and i tot it's speaking to me.

i'm always going thru emotional roller coaster. Well, my being a worrywart, nervous freak and sensitive idiot doesn't help.

things change, people move on, but i've choosen to remain stagnent. to refuse to dwell on the past nor embace the future to come.

too tired of strained relationships. work is a channel of escape though. working OTs mean i dun have to face my parents. for they've slept when i reach home, and they're out before i wake up. i tot i wasn't loved. and our relationships is one built on financial gains, on authority, not love. can't help but feel that they're always out to exploit me, to make sure that i dun have any extra savings, to keep a close watch on my earnings and spendings. i so hate the feeling of being tighted down, of being burdened to contribute to family income - of which a large proportion probably goes to their luxurious leisure spendings such as buying toto, 4D and gambling them away on the majong table. i hate myself for demeaning them, but the more i tot about this, the more i feel insecured leaving my hard earned money in their hands. the more i think of it the more i detest talking to them, sharing with them, eating the food they cook or living under the same roof. they always threaten me of moving out to live with my mum whenever we start qurreling. as much as i wished to, i know by doing so, it's only going to make thigs worse. they might even disown me for owning my mum.

yep tired of strained r/s with friends too. it obviously doesn't feel good to know that u're already outta their life. u're no longer precious in their eyes. they dun need u to interfere. they dun have to depend on u any longer when u begin to realise u've sacrificed so much time for them in the past and u start becoming dependant on them. whatever.

and tired of strained relationship with God too.

everythings working out, somehow, just not in the way i wish they would. it's high time i grow up, accept this changes and build new relationships.

hI'm accepted in ntu's chinses studies and NUS FASS!~:)

A post to reply to Sihui's tag. lol...

When i consulted xulaoshi which uni is better to pursue chinese studies, he said both are equally lousy. And the best is to study overseas. However, Nus has better resources in terms of environment and materials cos when chinses studies was taken outta the former Nanyang Universities, all the books, thesis and the batch of lectures were transfered into NUS. Moreover, NTU chinese faculty is relative new, we're only the third batch, so i this NUs can provide me with a more holistic academic pursuit.

YuP and also for superficial reasons such as 3/4 of the class going FASS. 1/2 of my CCA mates going FASS. and is more reputable (which may not tranlate to reliable) than HSS of NTU. whahahaha...

This is the girl who is going to leave us tomorrow.

This is the girl who runs on pentium 1, whose reaction is 3 times as slow as any other normal person walking on the street.

This is the girl who wants to remain a spinster her whole life, a devout feminist who swears that guys sucked.

This is the girl who lends me her mouse just so i can increase my OT productivity.

This is the girl who can tolerate my nonsense of asking her how to pronouce angmoh customers' names in a glam and angmoh way.

This is the girl who would talk halfway in a chinese conversation and shove the phone to u and request for our help to continue with the conversation.

This is the girl who'd talk professionally on the phone, but hang up professing "what a bastard!" when dealing with difficult customer.

This is the girl who can compete with me as to who hit a higher decibel when we're on the line.

This is the girl whom the team so love and hate.

This is the girl named ellyne the GREAT.

i've always believed that guys who are older exudes charm and charisma. they are witty and mature, and see things from a different light. i'm still a little girl at heart i suppose, one who needs a figure to stand in awe of, to worship and to admire. that's probably why i'm attracted to older guys.

cant help but mull over what charlene said the other day. that older guys are people u can talk abt fluffy things with, probably joke around, talk about dreams and future yadah yadah, but not people who'd take u seriously because they think u're still a little girl, someone who noes not what reality is all about, who's cooked up in a naive innocent simplistic world. well, there's a grain of truth in it i must admit. This guy, he keeps me in awe of his wits and sometimes wisdom. and at times i wished my company would have made his day a little brighter, but i guess it's the other way round. haha... he has this outward optimism which fails to conceal his inward bitterness. he makes me laugh with a simple comment, a joke or a recount of any incident. but at times i feel so insignificant opposite him. i cant talk with sense or wisdom. he cant be discussing his interests with me cos i noe nuts abt them. that makes me feel small and my company so unneccessary.

owell, it was never meant to be...



This is where a run to when i'm utterly depress. and somehow i know no matter how bad the situation is or how torn apart i am from the storms, there's always this one person who'd mend my heart.

Blogging, waiting for lunch... ...

Today's a Australian Holiday so been talking Chinese all day long.
Presurising when u have to speak to people who are not exactly friendly.
but it's just a job afterall.
so, just rant and move on!!!!!

yAy~ i got accepted into NTU Chinese!!

saw this innocent looking letter from NTU lying on my table the moment i stepped into the room all drained and tired from OT. heh... at least it's one burden off my shoulders.

it's funny,
we're only few metres away
2 rooms apart,
separated by 2 doors and some tables
yet we've never bumped into each other
there wasn't any effort to meet uP.

no i didn't want to.
cos there's nothing much to talk about anyway.
my mundane stories would bore her,
and what interest her would nv concern me.
it's hard to feel comfortable like before.

the silly laughters we once share
seem so distant
way too far.

i think i'm starting to enjoy working at moduslink, it's pretty fun to work in a team, to be able to joke ard and laugh with colleagues of my age and of my frequency.

and i'm starting to get more fluent on the phone. picked up quite abit of things, such as terms the austalians like to use, which is different from how we singaporeans wld usually say it. the list goes like this.

me: Give me a second, give me a minute, give me a moment, hold on for a moment
australians: "yUeP, in a tick!" or "wun be long" (in a fast tongue twister kindda tone.)

me:(when i cldn't catch what they are saying) "sorrie?"
austrialians: (when they couldn't catch what i'm saying) "pardon?"

me: (when i am delighted) "that's good~!"
australians: (when they are delighted) " Excellent!", "Oh, that's wonderful!"

i thought the australians are pretty expressive.

and called a customer today, got some connectivity problem, cldn't hear her well. i went" Hi, good morning, hi, can u hear me at your side. Good morning."

and then... the customer said" sorry u've good the wrong number."

"oh... erm... okie, thanks, have a nice day"

hahaha... and i was thinking to myself, i haven even told u who i am, where i'm calling from, how the hell u noe i've got the wrong number!!! lol... hahah... well, she must have tot i'm some lunatic...

feel good today cos i closed 2 chinese deals in 1.5 hrs. haha.... now i dun "eat the screws" and jumble up the words when i speak in chinese. the customer asked if i'm calling from china cos he thinks i have a very strong accent(singapore accent??" haha... and after knoowing that i come from s'pore, he says i speak pretty good chinese!~ haha.... i feel flattered! but anyways, zirong said b4 cos china peeps tot we speak poor chinese and australians tot we speak poor english. so when they hear us speak, they're not harsh on our standards and tot we're pretty effective.

and i've come to realise that i can judge from 3 things whether i'm likey to close a deal or not b4 i make a call.

1) whether their email contain "sales@....com" cos sales ppl have high chances of signing up as it reflect good on their job performance when the company benefits from seagate promotions.

2) whether they are australian chinese. being in a foreign land, when i enquire if they prefer to speak chinese, they'd probably feel more at home speaking to an asian or chinese.

3) whether they understand me. sometimes i eat my words, stammer and stumble, sound inconfident and they'd say i'm not interested.

and till now i have this one boiling questions left unanswered. and that is: do australians prefer me callling them their first name or last name?? well, i always address them by part that i know how to pronounce.

oh, and i tot ellyn has a call list filled with customers with hilarious name such as adam smith and snake bite. lolx...

On one week of work:

Been working at moduslink with melissa for 1 full week. pretty tiring but lotsa things to learn. the Poly interns whom we're supposed to takeover has left, so we're left on our own for the rest of the months and hopefully won't induce charlene(our superviser) to vomit pails of blood, (quoting melissa). lol... it's really at the workplace, alevel grads starts feeling so much more inferior than poly interns. man, they deal with unexpected situations, thinking on their feet and remain ever calm and collected is something i marvel at. and the fact that they can be so professional, so adult-like in their mentality, eloquent and expressive makes me feel even more inadequte in work place. i mean c'mon, it's little wonder why employers nowadays prefer poly grads to alvl grads. the interns are of the same age as us, but they are so much more world wise and street wise than us, the woodblocks alvlers.

btw, the new job is all abt making outbound calls to asian pacific customer to get them to sign up for a Seagate program. and i enjoy calling the Australians because when u sound frendly, they are usually very open and nice. And they make us less nervous, has pretty good phone ettiqute(however it's spelled), sometimes i even encouter customer who goes "oh! u're calling from singapore? i've been there, it's a lovely island. i love the char kuey tiao~" this kind of call makes my day!

the chinese customers would usually turn us away by saying:"i'm busy right now, send me an email and i'll register myself" which is more often than not, just to get us to put down the phone and not waste their precious time. but i did close my 1st china deal. the customer was so nice. the website took pretty long to load and encoutered some technical errors, so i offer a manual registration( which i heard the interns has nv done manual registration with china customer b4 due to the many fields tt has to be filled with the correct chinese characters) in the midst he said the website resumed and say he'll complete it. So i went “李先生，还是我来帮您登记好了。”“没关系，这点活让我来干好了。”wow i was touched by his gesture after being weaved away by so many chinese customers.

it pretty interesting to learn about the different cultures and talk to people from different countries. haha... the australians' "a" sounds like "i" so i always ask isit "a" for australia? of "i" for india? they'd say it's "i" for australia. lolx....

3 mths more.. lookin forward to uni!

心情笔记

每次开始打字的时候，都觉得很辛苦，因为有太多要写下的东西，

可又不知要从何写起，要省略什么，

是否应该闲话“加长”，还是长话短说。

不懂得怎么整理思绪，

不懂得怎么收拾心情，

懵懵懂懂

乱碰乱闯

有时候七上八下，有时候乱七八糟

看来得心脏病也是早晚的事。


为了方便小女理清头绪，“借事”抒情，小女将以倒叙法回顾这几个星期的点点滴滴。

今天我已正式从“失业人士”晋升为“待业人士”了。

通过无恶不作，出了名专骗像我一般天真无知学生的经纪公司，

我接下了一分不用用脑，只需动口和动手的行政工作。

放弃了补习。

接下来的3个月，脑袋便要开始生锈了。

我很好奇，经纪公司倒地抽了多少佣金？

其实我还蛮鄙视经纪公司的，虽然不得不佩服他们的“吸金”功力，

但把自己的财富建立在别人的汗水上，

别人越是做得像头牛，经纪公司的口袋越是肥大饱满，太没天理了吧！！！


上个星期，某人又唤醒了我沉睡以久的热忱。

我好像开始找回了“因为..." 而想要更加努力的悸动。

有时真不得不不为自己的懦弱无能而惭愧。

我觉得越是长大，越是蜕化成了一个没主见、没脾气、没性格、庸俗又自卑的人。

连努力都是因为别人。

别人可以激发自己，但要使热忱继续燃烧，

要靠自己！ 要靠自己！

记得了，记好了，记牢了，

要靠自己！！！！


我一直觉得很纳闷，为什么我只是一个老师很多学生里的其中一个，但是有些老师却几乎是我的全部。

很久都没有勇气更新博客。

好像永远都是一大段一大段的流水帐

暂时 停在这里。