YAY!!!!
A levels is finally OVER~
i can like sit in front of my com and blog til i drop.
i can like watch 4 consecutive hours of TV everyday without an ounce of guilt.
i can finally not be left alone at home when the whole family goes for shopping trips.
i can finally not look at those disgusting wordy notes trying to squeeze impractical theories into my teeny weeny brain!

WHEW.
there's like one million zillion things i can do now and so much so that i dun know what to do first!!!

one hundred and one things to do

gathering on fri with cell friends for dinner.
go orchard with sis to cut hair on fri
make wenjie's present. poor girl's birthday's on halloween, 2 days b4 start of As when everyone's busy mugging.
send mr tong that lao niang's photo which i still haven get from zhanting.
bake cookies.
get a temp job cos i am so BROKE.
make a photo album for myself recording all this years' event.
learn to use photoshop from my sis.
read God of Small things
get luyuan cd burnt for CCC year 2s
go malaysia this coming Sat.
send christmas card to friends.
get llb's birthday prezzie cos i'd be in malaysia and cant wish her then
do lots of craft work.
learn to cook some dishes.
tidy up my messy room which looks like disaster zone since As started.
and so many so many so many more things to do!!

after slogging thru 2 years of jc,
i am really doubting whether i can survive Uni,
if i do even get to enter in the first place.
the whole exam period is really filled with loads of emotional upheavals.
i marvel at myself for not shedding a tear once.
maybe i just cant be bothered anymore.
i cant even be bothered what kind of sucky grades i'm going to get.
just hope that i'd make it into Uni.
haiz...
of cos i've considered alot of possiblities should i not make it into U.
i'd be deemed as an academic failure and wpuld have wasted 2 years in this rigous and not made for slackers like me system.
maybe i can go poly and study.then i'd be wasting my parents money.
if not maybe i'd work and earn money and get private tutions for the 3 subjects
and take As as a private candidates.
haha...then maybe i can join the guys when they leave army.
maybe i can study in MI, if they accept me which is highly unprobable.
maybe i can just enter the workforce and earn measely pay all my life.
i so dun like to study.

felt totally lack of preparation for As. unlike Os when I know I'm there and they are so many candidates taking and that I'm not going to be those at the bottom. haiz...
whatever! it's over.
and for now. it's time to go mad! and stay HAPPY.
afterall, the older one become, the smaller her dreams become.
i mean i aspired to be a lawyer when i was 4 til i was 6.
then i aspired to be a teacher thereafter.
i was so excited about the idea of doing well and excelling and studying overseas.
then i saw myself extremely inadequate both emotionally and academically.
i hate the idea of settling for something less.
giving up when i didn't even try hard enough.
what's my future going to be?