Kidophobia

Research shows that it takes 30 days of doing the same thing to form a habit.

So I'm trying to follow a routine of penning down something everyday for the next 30 days.

After all, practice is reliably doing something in a habitual way.

Thoughts have been flying around since holidays started and impossible to capture.

Let me try.

Attended Adrian's wedding this afternoon and this thought about giving birth and having a kid started bugging me again.

I've always been convicted, time and again not to have one, since i cannot even take good care of myself at current state.

Yet there is also this lingering fear that someday I would have to sign myself in to a nursing home.

To live a sad life trapped in a place with people I don't know.

Those who are equally lonely, who have perhaps been abandoned deliberately, or by choice.

Such thought scares the daylight out of me.

Is that what you would call a quarter life crisis?

In spite of this scary and somewhat ridiculous worry,

I am still convicted not to have a kid.

Owell, till the day fate decides not to pass me by. 

A thousand shades of grey (Says who that there are only 50!)

I should write something, just so my thoughts doesn't dissolve with time,

as with so many others,

which appeared and were long gone.

It's been a good two restful weeks, short work hours and long days of reading.

I'm done with 2 Jodi Picoult's titles, The storyteller and The perfect match.

It's refreshing, addressing moral dilemmas which challenges one to evaluate the essence of justice.

Forcing me to the bream of my own convictions to look at the thousands shades of grey between right and wrong.

Talk about the thousand shades of greys...

Just the other day I was reading Jodi Picoult's book on the way back from Xi'An.

And inevitably challenged by my boss.

Tagged with the label of The Chinese Teacher, it's only justifiable to be reading Chinese books.

But really, English opened me to another perspective,

A completely different worldview that wasn't penetrable by the Chinese world. (Guilty as charged for labeling. Looks like no one escapes the evils of catagorizing.)

There are simply too many Western nuances lost in translation, that most Chinese (Specifically Greater China ) authors cannot deal with or appreciate. And vice versa.  

So, I appreciate my bilingual education, blatantly proud about it even.

It helped make sense of nuances, the subtlety which opens one's eyes

To the thousand shades of grey.  

CCC Christmas

All thanks to lim sinyee, we have a theme of "Green Christmas" for our CCC party this coming Christmas. 

By this, it means that we dig out unused or rarely used items for re-gifting to someone we have randomly drawn out. 

I'm awfully excited as i prepared the gifts, done with much thought for the person I have chosen.

And owell, also expectant of the surprises that's in store for me on that day! :)

Regards,

Shiyun

《我们的国庆日》 记忆篇

无论身在何方，我们的心与它同在…

“小五时，我们前往观看庆典的途中，我从车窗往外看着新加坡的美景，令我为自己是新加坡人而感到骄傲。”

——张鸿明

“我难忘的是检阅典礼，制服团体一群群步操出场，很壮观。当时，我心想：“我以后也要当一个好士兵！”

——林俊宏

“我最喜欢国庆主题曲，因为每年都有我们可以学习的精神。”

——林俐莹

“每年的国庆表演都很精彩，我最喜欢的是飞机表演，每年飞机总会飞过我的家。”

——许晓骏

“我最喜欢看烟花。”

——张丽燕

“五颜六色的烟花，把夜空点缀得非常漂亮。”

——卓裕瑾

“每年的八月九日除了是国庆日，也是我外公的生日。我们一家人都会聚在一起观看国庆庆典。”

——曾琬婷

“与家人聚在一起观看国庆庆典，我既开心又失望，因为没能到现场体验那里的气氛。”

——陈政燊

“新加坡虽然经历了很多困难，却能勇敢克服，我祝新加坡生日快乐！”

——陈美凤

不论身在何方，国庆庆典仍旧为大家编织了无数多的美好回忆。

实勤中学1E3班

有些事不能光靠热忱

好久没上这片失修的土地。

刚刚看到傅朗老师关于写作的文章，一时兴起，所以在地铁上开始用拇指打下自己的思绪。

周边朋友同事时不时谈到自己教书面临的无奈和无力感。

谈教师和教育似乎常常听到带有负能量的话。

教书能够持久吗？热忱能够不息吗？制度能够改善吗？

当然热忱不一定能恒久，制度也许丑恶不堪，但哪个行业没有苦头和让人不满的地方？

所以呀，沮丧的时候老是记起Cherylene的良言：

"有些事不能单靠热忱，唯有冷静不会一再失温。"

他们说，我说

他们说我很烂。

我说我觉得自己很赞。



他们说我只会捣蛋，

我说我懂得创意我炫给你看。

所以，

请别用你的偏见把我判！

混乱是最美丽的次序

这个星期，心情混乱，思绪也混乱。

我必须找到，让自己更坚强的方式。

自己的杯子装不满，就很难把别人的杯子装满。

自己无法坚信的坚持，

就没办法让别人坚信你带领的方向

是他们寻找的模样。

混乱。

也许就是最美丽的次序，

带我们去一个陌生神奇的地方。