Your mind is never at rest.You are continually striving to influence all those about you. You have some excellent ideas but you persist in trying to persuade others just how great your ideas really are. Maybe you are trying too hard. Take it easy - remember, 'Everything comes to those who wait'.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You are anxious about all the limitations to which you are subjected to at this time. You feel that you are not valued for what or who you are. You need OUT. So why procrastinate any longer - MOVE!

Got this test from chaokiat's blog, and i tot it's speaking to me.

i'm always going thru emotional roller coaster. Well, my being a worrywart, nervous freak and sensitive idiot doesn't help.

things change, people move on, but i've choosen to remain stagnent. to refuse to dwell on the past nor embace the future to come.

too tired of strained relationships. work is a channel of escape though. working OTs mean i dun have to face my parents. for they've slept when i reach home, and they're out before i wake up. i tot i wasn't loved. and our relationships is one built on financial gains, on authority, not love. can't help but feel that they're always out to exploit me, to make sure that i dun have any extra savings, to keep a close watch on my earnings and spendings. i so hate the feeling of being tighted down, of being burdened to contribute to family income - of which a large proportion probably goes to their luxurious leisure spendings such as buying toto, 4D and gambling them away on the majong table. i hate myself for demeaning them, but the more i tot about this, the more i feel insecured leaving my hard earned money in their hands. the more i think of it the more i detest talking to them, sharing with them, eating the food they cook or living under the same roof. they always threaten me of moving out to live with my mum whenever we start qurreling. as much as i wished to, i know by doing so, it's only going to make thigs worse. they might even disown me for owning my mum.

yep tired of strained r/s with friends too. it obviously doesn't feel good to know that u're already outta their life. u're no longer precious in their eyes. they dun need u to interfere. they dun have to depend on u any longer when u begin to realise u've sacrificed so much time for them in the past and u start becoming dependant on them. whatever.

and tired of strained relationship with God too.

everythings working out, somehow, just not in the way i wish they would. it's high time i grow up, accept this changes and build new relationships.

hI'm accepted in ntu's chinses studies and NUS FASS!~:)

A post to reply to Sihui's tag. lol...

When i consulted xulaoshi which uni is better to pursue chinese studies, he said both are equally lousy. And the best is to study overseas. However, Nus has better resources in terms of environment and materials cos when chinses studies was taken outta the former Nanyang Universities, all the books, thesis and the batch of lectures were transfered into NUS. Moreover, NTU chinese faculty is relative new, we're only the third batch, so i this NUs can provide me with a more holistic academic pursuit.

YuP and also for superficial reasons such as 3/4 of the class going FASS. 1/2 of my CCA mates going FASS. and is more reputable (which may not tranlate to reliable) than HSS of NTU. whahahaha...

This is the girl who is going to leave us tomorrow.

This is the girl who runs on pentium 1, whose reaction is 3 times as slow as any other normal person walking on the street.

This is the girl who wants to remain a spinster her whole life, a devout feminist who swears that guys sucked.

This is the girl who lends me her mouse just so i can increase my OT productivity.

This is the girl who can tolerate my nonsense of asking her how to pronouce angmoh customers' names in a glam and angmoh way.

This is the girl who would talk halfway in a chinese conversation and shove the phone to u and request for our help to continue with the conversation.

This is the girl who'd talk professionally on the phone, but hang up professing "what a bastard!" when dealing with difficult customer.

This is the girl who can compete with me as to who hit a higher decibel when we're on the line.

This is the girl whom the team so love and hate.

This is the girl named ellyne the GREAT.

i've always believed that guys who are older exudes charm and charisma. they are witty and mature, and see things from a different light. i'm still a little girl at heart i suppose, one who needs a figure to stand in awe of, to worship and to admire. that's probably why i'm attracted to older guys.

cant help but mull over what charlene said the other day. that older guys are people u can talk abt fluffy things with, probably joke around, talk about dreams and future yadah yadah, but not people who'd take u seriously because they think u're still a little girl, someone who noes not what reality is all about, who's cooked up in a naive innocent simplistic world. well, there's a grain of truth in it i must admit. This guy, he keeps me in awe of his wits and sometimes wisdom. and at times i wished my company would have made his day a little brighter, but i guess it's the other way round. haha... he has this outward optimism which fails to conceal his inward bitterness. he makes me laugh with a simple comment, a joke or a recount of any incident. but at times i feel so insignificant opposite him. i cant talk with sense or wisdom. he cant be discussing his interests with me cos i noe nuts abt them. that makes me feel small and my company so unneccessary.

owell, it was never meant to be...



This is where a run to when i'm utterly depress. and somehow i know no matter how bad the situation is or how torn apart i am from the storms, there's always this one person who'd mend my heart.

Blogging, waiting for lunch... ...

Today's a Australian Holiday so been talking Chinese all day long.
Presurising when u have to speak to people who are not exactly friendly.
but it's just a job afterall.
so, just rant and move on!!!!!

yAy~ i got accepted into NTU Chinese!!

saw this innocent looking letter from NTU lying on my table the moment i stepped into the room all drained and tired from OT. heh... at least it's one burden off my shoulders.

it's funny,
we're only few metres away
2 rooms apart,
separated by 2 doors and some tables
yet we've never bumped into each other
there wasn't any effort to meet uP.

no i didn't want to.
cos there's nothing much to talk about anyway.
my mundane stories would bore her,
and what interest her would nv concern me.
it's hard to feel comfortable like before.

the silly laughters we once share
seem so distant
way too far.